დედამ შვილი მოკლა, მოზარდმა – თანატოლი… ძალადობის ფესვები იხლართება საზოგადოებაში
ირმა ცეცხლაძე 27 48 93
SemaZrwunebeli faqtebi vrceldeba masmediis saSualebiT. gansakuTrebiT SegvZra dedis mier cemiT mokluli bavSvis istoriam. mezoblebis da samarTaldamcavebis informirebulobis miuxedavad, ver gadaarCines patara, romelic ufrosis agresiis msxverpli gaxda. gavixsenoT, ra xdeba skolebSi, ramdenjer gaJRerda moswavlis mkvlelobis Tu cemis faqti. isic viciT, rom jer kidev xSiria maTi Cagvris, abuCad agdebis SemTxvevebi, rac safrTxis winaSe ayenebs Zlieri, sakuTar TavSi darwmunebuli, fsiqologiurad janmrTeli momavali Taobis Camoyalibebas, romelic samarTliani da Tavisufali iqneba sakuTari azris dafiqsirebisas.
am bolos xSirad iyeneben termins `bulingi~, rac qarTulad `Zaladobas~ niSnavs da gulisxmobs bavSvebisa da mozardebisadmi rogorc Tanatolebis, ise mSoblebisa da pedagogebis uxeS damokidebulebas.
am Temaze interviu vTxoveT bavSvTa da mozardTa praqtikos fsiqologs irma feiqriSvils, romelmac ganacxada, rom bulingi anu Zaladoba problema gaxda Tanamedrove sazogadoebaSi da aucilebelia am kuTxiT ufro profesiuli da qmediTi RonisZiebebis organizeba.
– qalbatono irma, Tu SeiZleba, saubari bulingis formebis aRweriT daviwyoT.
– bulingis tradiciuli formebia: muqara, dacinva, sityvieri Seuracxyofa, abuCad agdeba, cema da a.S. skolebSi bulingis safuZvels warmoadgens SezRuduli SesaZleblobebi, enis barieri, erovnuli da eTnikuri kuTvnileba, genderuli rolisTvis Seusabamo qceva da sxva msagvsi faqtori. saerTod, bulingi aRiqmeba socialur movlenad, romelic xSirad bavSvTa organizebul jgufebs axasiaTebT. amitom vawydebiT mis yvelaze TvalsaCino gamovlinebebs swored skolebSi.
– bulingi dResdReobiT aqtualuria mTel msoflioSi…
– is adrec iyo aqtualuri, Tumca am simZafriT ar aRiqmeboda, radgan aravis miaCnda problemad. amJamad ufro daixvewa es sfero da meti yuradReba eTmoba adamianis adamianze civiluri zemoqmedebis formebs. rac Seexeba skolis sivrceSi arsebul bulings, ganimarteba rogorc fsiqologiuri, fizikuri an verbaluri Zaladoba Tanaklaselze, romelic CagvriTa da dacinviT gamoixateba. SesaZloa, erTi bavSvi Zaladobdes meoreze an jgufi – jgufze an jgufi konkretul bavSvze. rogorc aRvniSneT, bulingis mizezi SeiZleba gaxdes nebismieri gansxvavebuloba: fizikuri maxasiaTebeli, xasiaTis niSani, gansxvavebuli azri. gansakuTrebul riskjgufs warmoadgens umciresobis jgufis wevroba. cnobilia religiuri, qsenofobiuri an Tundac, homofobiuri bulingic.
– ufro xSirad vinaa msxverpli?
– riskebis mixedviT rom davalagoT, pirvel adgilze SSm pirebi arian, Semdeg – eTnikuri, seqsualuri umciresobebi.
– skolebSi msgavsi garCevebicaa?
– diax, mozard asakSi seqsualuri umciresobis gansazRvra rTulia, magram aq igulisxmeba biWebis feminuri an gogonebis maskulinuri qcevis gamovlineba, sqesobriv identifikaciasTan dakavSirebuli `aranormirebuli~ manerebi. Semdeg adgilze Raribi, socialurad daucveli bavSvebi arian, rac imas ar niSnavs, rom mdidari da meinstrimisTvis misaRebi bavSvebi daculi arian bulingisagan.
– yvelaze metad ra saxis Zaladobas awydebiT, rogorc profesionali fsiqoTerapevti?
– ufro naklebad – fizikurs, metad – fsiqologiurs da internetZaladobas, romelmac mkveTrad imata bolo periodSi. gaxSirebulia Zaladoba socialur qselebSi, rac marTlac sagangaSoa.
– ra gamovlinebebi aqvs bulings ojaxis wevrebSi?
– ar gavamaxvileb yuradRebas cemasa da fizikur xelyofaze, radgan es TvalnaTelia da misi dafiqsireba nebismiers SeuZlia. minda xazi gavusva fsiqologiur Zaladobas, rac Cvens sinamdvileSi yvelaze metadaa momravlebuli, radgan Tavad mSoblebic ver acnobiereben, ras sCadian da Tavi ar miaCniaT moZaladeebad. aucilebelia, swored ufrosebi gavarkvioT, ra iTvleba Zaladobad pataris mimarT. Tundac is, rom Cven maT veubnebiT: `me var ufrosi, aqedan gamomdinare, Cemi sityva Tu Cem mier miRebuli gadawyvetileba marTalia da erTaderTia, Sen aravin arafers gekiTxeba~. ai, es ukve Zaladobaa, radgan Cven zemoqmedebas vaxdenT masze – pirovnebaze, romelic Tavisufali, gonieri daibada da ukve sakuTari azri gaaCnia, arada, swored misi azri unda iyos CvenTvis mniSvnelovani. ra Tqma unda, SesaZlebelia es azri im konkretul momentSi ar iyos misaRebi, magram pativi unda vceT, mSvidad movusminoT da Semdeg avuxsnaT moTminebiT, Tu ratom unda moiqces ase da ara ise, mas rom miaCnia. mxolod aseTi midgomaa gamarTlebuli.
– xom aris asaki, roca patara Tavad ver sazRvravs, rogor unda moiqces da Tu Cven ar avukrZalavT, amiT safrTxe Seeqmneba mis janmrTelobas?
– yvelaferi individualuria. bavSvebic da ufrosebic radikalurad gansxvavdebian erTmaneTisgan. aqedan gamomdinare, ar arsebobs konstruqciuli instruqcia, vis ra mouxdeba. erTaderTi konkretuli qmedebaa is, rac zemoT aRvniSneT – movusminoT, pativi vceT mis azrs, Sexedulebebs, vesaubroT, avuxsnaT da erTad movZebnoT oqros Sualedi. arc bavSvi gavaRizianoT da arc wesrigi davarRvioT. mas unda mivceT sakuTari azris xmamaRla dafiqsirebis saSualeba. mxolod da mxolod am SemTxvevaSi ar gaxdeba Tqveni Svili bulingis msxverpli.
– albaT, gulisxmobT skolebSi arsebul bulings… mainc vin da rogor xdeba Tavad am bulingis warmmarTveli anu rogor yalibdeba moZalade ase adreul asakSi?
– ZiriTadad, es arian dabali TviTSefasebis mqone bavSvebi, an isini, romlebmac TviTrealizacia ver moaxdines cxovrebaSi. magaliTad, mozardma ver daafiqsira sakuTari SesaZleblobebi garemocvaSi, Tumca grZnobs amis Sinagan moTxovnilebas da darwmunebulia, rom `magaria~. maSin iwyebs Tanatolebis Cagvris xarjze imis mtkicebas, rom maTze zemdgomi da gamorCeulia. msgavsi ram emarTebaT imaT, romlebsac ojaxSi arafrad agdeben da seriozulad ar iReben maT mier miRebul arc erT gadawyvetilebas an bavSvebs, romlebsac ojaxSi fizikurad uswordebian, cemen. isini Semdeg cemen maT, visac erevian. anu igive meTods iyeneben, rogori meTodebiTac uswordebian maT. cxadia, es ar aris yvelaze morgebuli daxasiaTeba da rig SemTxvevaSi SesaZloa, sapirispiro mizezebiTac Camoyalibdes moZalade, magram am kuTxiT umjobesia ganvixiloT skolebSi arsebuli marTlac sagangaSo da damafiqrebeli viTareba.
– rogor unda davicvaT sakuTari pirmSo am procesisgan?
– unda vaswavloT Tavdacva, rac ar gulisxmobs Cxubs, ayalmayals. ubralod, unda avuxsnaT sworad uaris Tqmis xerxi. uari unda Tqvas mtkiced, unda iyos sakuTar TavSi darwmunebuli da, rac yvelaze mTavaria, arasodes gadges gverdze, roca sxvas Cagraven. anu gvaqvs samkuTxedi: mCagvreli, Cagruli da mowme. yvelaze xSirad swored mowmes akisria am samkuTxedSi gadamwyveti roli, radgan Tuki igi ar dadgeba, ar waaqezebs, ar uyurebs moZalades, ar ahyveba mas, maSin moZaladesac gamoecleba Zaladobisas sakuTari Zlierebis dasadasturebeli mizezi, Tavad daiTrguneba, aRar iqneba aqtiuri am kuTxiT da TavisTavad daanebebs msxverpls Tavs. zogjer mSoblebi arigeben Svilebs: ar Caerio, Sen ar gexeba, ra Seni saqmea, gaiare da wadi, Tu Sen ar gerCian, magram aravinaa dazRveuli, rom swored is ar gaxdeba Semdegi msxverpli, radgan amiT sakuTar sisustes daanaxebs moZalades anu arc unda waaqezo da arc unda SearCino, unda dagmo.
– arsebobs gamoTqma: Zalas yovelTvis unda daupirispiro Zala. rogor fiqrobT, SesaZlebelia ZaladobiT Zaladobis aRmofxvra?
– es xandaxan sakamaToa. cxadia, Tuki moZalades daxvda Zala da daupirispirda fizikurad momzadebuli piri, mas Tavs daanebebs, magram es ganzogadebulad ar aris gamosavali. yvelaze mniSvnelovania, moZalades daxvdes Tavis TavSi darwmunebuli bavSvi. mxolod am SemTxvevaSi aRmoifxvreba Zirfesvianad msgavsi saxis dapirispireba. Tuki amas ar vaswavliT Cvens Svilebs, Tuki pataraobidanve ar CavunergavT sakuTari Tavis rwmenas, Tuki yoveldRiurad ar CavCiCinebT: `Sen ar xar marTali, ar ici araferi, mxolod me unda damijero~, maSin aseTi bavSvi sakuTar siZlieresa da simarTleSi darwmunebuli iqneba da ar gaxdeba bulingis msxverpli.
– Tanamedrove samyaroSi bavSvebi ufro emociurebi, mgrZnobiareebi arian. SesaZloa, es cifrul teqnologiebze maTi damokidebulebiT aixsnas. rogor unda moiqces mSobeli?
– daviwyoT iqidan, rom mSobelma ar unda moicilos patara, ar misces internetSi Zromialis saSualeba. yovelTvis axsovdes, rom amqveynad yvelaze mniSvnelovani Svilebis janmrTeloba da stabiluri fsiqologiuri mdgomareobaa. Cvens sinamdvileSi ki ra xdeba? sanam ufrosebi sakuTari saqmeebis mogvarebiT arian dakavebuli, pataras aZleven telefons an planSets da Tavidan icileben. imas ver acnobiereben, rom savalalo Sedegs Rebuloben da udidesi problemebi eqmnebaT rogorc umcrosebs, ise ufrosebs. me praqtikosi fsiqologi var da SemiZlia Tamamad ganvacxado, rom marTlac ukiduresad mZime fonia am mxriv. CemTan uamravi bavSvi mohyavT ukve seriozuli darRvevebiT swored internet-damokidebulebis gamo. axali terminic Semovida: `internetiT intoqsikacia~ anu roca bavSvebi kargaven sociumTan urTierTobas. es Zalian saxifaToa.
– rogorc sazRvargareT, Tu arsebobs CvenTan centrebi, sadac Zaladobas daqvemdebarebuli bavSvebi SeZleben Tavdacvas?
– rogorc vici, mandaturebTan fsiqologiuri samsaxuri arsebobs, sadac exmarebian aseT bavSvebs an sulac, SeuZliaT samarTaldamcvelebs Seatyobinon mdgomareoba. Tumca saqarTveloSi naklebadaa fizikuri Zaladobis faqtebi ojaxSi. samwuxarod, erTeuli SemTxveevebi ki fiqsirdeba, magram ar aris xSiri. rogorc giTxariT, ufro fsiqologiuri Zaladoba xdeba, romelsac Tavad mSoblebic ver acnobiereben.
– pedagogebis mxridan Tu SeimCneva Zaladoba, rogorc vici axla ukve mkacrad dadga es sakiTxi…
– Tqven warmoidgineT, aris, Tanac sakmaod xSirad. maswavleblebi moswavleebs sityvier Seuracxyofas ayeneben, Tundac, aseTi mimarTviT – `Se sulelo~, `uvico~. CemTan bevri bavSvi dadis am mizeziT, rom gaurTuldaT fsiqoemociuri mdgomareoba. problemis dasaZlevad maTTan seriozuli muSaoba miwevs. verc erTi Tanamedrove mozardi ver moiTmens pedagogis lanZRvas, imitom rom, is marTalia da mas, rogorc pirovnebas, pativiscema sWirdeba. roca `enas Seubrunebs~ da iqiT galanZRavs maswavlebels, es ukanaskneli aRSfoTdeba, radgan miiCneva – pedagogi marTalia, mozardi – tyuis.
– ras unda miaqcion yuradReba mSoblebma da pedagogebma?
– unda gaaanalizon saerTo mdgomareoba, dafiqrdnen, ra surT miiRon ufrosi adamianebisgan da swored ise moeqcnen umcrosebs. amasTan, Tu bavSvi zedmetad Caketilia, gulCaTxrobili, ar Sedis kontaqtSi sxvebTan, gariyulia Tanatolebisgan, unda gavarkvioT, xom ar aris igi bulingis msxverpli. yuradRebiT unda movekidoT aseT bavSvebs, radgan ar aris gamoricxuli, rom savalalo Sedegi miviRoT, SeiZleba mozardi TviTmkvlelobamde mivides an sulac, sxva moklas.
– ras daamatebT?
– minda Cemi mxridan gavamaxvilo yuradReba internetbulingze, romelic sagangaSo gaxda bolo dros da sakmaod gaxSirda. mozards raRacas dauweren, aSantajeben, masxrad igdeben, rac sruldeba TviTmkvlelobiT an mkveTri depresiuli foniT. bavSvs 12 wlamde ar unda hqondes wvdoma socialur qselebTan da am asakidanac – SezRuduli droiT. unda kontroldebodes misi kontaqtebi. 7 wlis bavSvi ar unda `ijdes~ socialur qselSi da ar unda werdes statuss. es yovlad dauSvebelia. mivmarTav mSoblebs: daakaveT bavSvebi sportiT, Tavsac daicavs da arc sxvas daCagravs. amiT moaxdenen sakuTari fizikuri da emociuri SesaZleblobebis realizacias da Camoyalibdebian jansaRi sazogadoebis jansaR wevrebad.
