როგორ აღმოაჩინა საკუთარ თავში ძალა და შეძლო სიკვდილის სურვილის დამარცხება…
მარიამ ხითარიშვილი 27 48 93 –
12 wlis gogona dafexmZimda da sakeisro kveTa Cautares. . . 14 wlis gogona gaaupatiures, mamasTan mivida, es ambavi mouyva da mamam ise scema, saavadmyofoSi gadaiyvanes. manamde mcirewlovani Svilebis Tvalwin cols qmarma yeli gamoWra. ramdenime dRis win, Ramis klubSi gogonebs narkotikuli saSualebebiT TiSavdnen da aupatiurebdnen. guSin qals samsaxurSi yofili qmari miadga, benzini Seasxa da dawva, qali adgilze gardaicvala. . .
RmerTma icis, ramdeni msgavsi ambavi xdeba da ramdeni qali imarxeba cocxlad, im simwaresa da jojoxeTSi, rasac femicidi hqvia. gulismomkvlelia, Semzaravia qalebis garkveuli nawilis mxridan daRupul, nawameb, daCagrul, Zaladobis msxverpl qalebze gakeTebuli komentarebi, maTi pozicia femicidis mimarT. gvian RamiT, maRaziaSi Tu afTiaqSi Casul gogonaze, romelic gzaSi mokles, amboben, RamiT quCaSi ra undodao. rogorc im gogonaze, Ramis klubSi narkotiki rom Seapares da gaTiSuli gaaupatiures – Ramis klubSi ra esaqmebodao. saSinel garemoSi vcxovrobT, sadac qali adamianad ar iTvleba da arafers vakeTebT, rom es Seicvalos. tragediagadatanili qalebi iseT wnexSi eqcevian sazogadoebis mxridan, rom fizikurad gadarCenilebi fsiqologiurad veRar uZleben da Tavs iklaven. qalebi martoni arian da aravin aris, vinc miva maTTan da daicavs, an visTanac TviTon mivlen da Tavs Seafareben.
baTumeli mariam jvarTava 16 wlis asakSi gaxda seqsualuri Zaladobis msxverpli. aravin hyavda gverdiT, vinc anugeSebda, mis mdgomareobas gaiziarebda. sruliad marto aRmoCnda sakuTar fiqrebTan. iyo depresia, suicidis mcdelobac. . . wlebi dasWirda, rom am yvelafers gamklaveboda, Tumca moaxerxa, am Temaze xmamaRla alaparakda da internetsivrceSi, sadac aTasobiT gamomweri hyavs, qalTa mimarT Zaladobaze kontenti Seqmna. mariami Tavis videoebSi mentaluri janmrTelobis mniSvnelobaze saubrobs. is yoveldRe mimarTavs qalebs, rom ar gaCumdnen, rom bolo moeRos qalTa mimarT seqsualur Seviwroebas, femicids. . .
dRes mariami Cveni stumaria da Tavis istorias gviyveba.
– incidenti, romelmac Tqveni cxovreba Secvala. . .
– yvelaze dasamaxsovrebeli da travmuli incidenti iyo 16 wlis asakSi, rodesac gavxdi seqsualuri Zaladobis msxverpli. Semdgom 17 wlis asakSi, rodesac scades Cemze seqsualuri Zaladoba arafxizel mdgomareobaSi. wlebis ganmavlobaSi samwuxarod, CemTvis matravmirebeli sxvadasxva incidenti xdeboda.
– mogoneba, romelic yvelaze mZafrad gaxsendebaT. . . ra moxda Semdeg?
– zemoT xsenebuli travma CemTvis dRemde aRmoCnda yvelaze rTulad gasaxsenebeli da gadasamuSavebeli, radgan vfiqrob, msgavsi gamocdileba Zalian seriozul zians ayenebs adamianis da miT umetes, arasrulwlovnis fsiqikas. am ambis Semdeg ramdenime weli iyo gasuli, rodesac aRmovaCine, rom seqsualuri Zaladobis msxverpli viyavi. esec imitom, rom 16 wlis asakSi Cemma gonebam Cemdauneburad TiTqos dabloka es faqti da sanam msgavsi istoria ar movismine, sxva, Cemi gamocdilebis mqone qalebisgan, vcxovrobdi ise, TiTqos araferi cudi ar dammarTnia im dRes. mas Semdeg TiTqmis 10 weli gavida da dRemde miWirs am travmis moSuSeba da sakuTari Tavis dajereba, rom me ar viyavi damnaSave, radgan realurad xom ase xdeba, yovelTvis qalebs gvadanaSauleben ZaladobaSi. . .
– dRes Zalian bevri qali Zaladobis an seqsualuri Seviwroebis msxverplia, Tumca amaze sajarod ver saubroben. . . rogor ipoveT TqvenSi Zala, am yvelaferze xmamaRla gesaubraT?
– rodesac davinaxe, rom uamravi qali aziarebda TavianT istoriebs sajarod Tu anonimurad, TiTqos mec vipove sakuTar TavSi Zala da gadavwyvite, mec gameziarebina gulistkivili. amiT sxva qalebsac miveci magaliTi, rom SeuZliaT xmamaRla isaubron da rac mTavaria, amxilon moZaladeebi. aseve, TiTqos mciredi Terapia Cavutare sakuTar Tavs, radgan ar aris martivi, warsulSi miRebuli travma ramdenime wlis Semdeg jer gaaanalizo da Semdeg aRiaro sakuTar TavTan. amitom, vfiqrob, yvelas gvWirdeba CvenTvis saWiro auditoria, romelic mogvismens da CvenTan erTad gaiziarebs Cvens travmebs da sulier Tu fizikur tkivilebs.
– raRac periodi depresia gqondaT. . . rogor SeZeliT am mdgomareobidan Tavis daRweva?
– am yvelafers, ra Tqma unda, mohyva depresia da mentaluri aSlilobebi. Cems SemTxvevaSi, depresiasTan gamklaveba sakmaod rTuli aRmoCnda, radgan sakuTar TavTan sruliad marto aRmovCndi. aravin myavda, vinc aRiarebda Cems mdgomareobas da gverdiT damidgeboda am yvelaze rTul periodSi. depresia dRemde maqvs, magram ganvlili fsiqoTerapiebis daxmarebiT da medikamenturi mkurnalobiT, SevZeli Cemi mdgomareobis Zirfesvianad Seswavla da Semdgom ukve marTva, rac sakmaod rTulia da did dros da energias moiTxovs. sabednierod, warsulSi gamovlili travmebiT SeviZine udidesi gamocdileba da dRes ukve Tamamad vambob, rom depresiasTan davmegobrdi. imedi maqvs, erT dResac depresias warsul droSi vaxseneb da Cemi dReebic ufro galamazdeba mis gareSe.
– socialuri qselis erT-erT platformaze, sadac aTasobiT gamomweri gyavT, SiSze, SfoTviT aSlilobaze da maT Taviseburebebze saubrobT. es yvelaferi Tqveni gamocdilebidan gamomdinareobs?
– mas Semdeg, rac sajarod daviwye am Temebze saubari Canawerebis Tu postebis saxiT, gadavwyvite, Cemi gamocdileba gameziarebina ufro farTo auditoriisTvis da SeZlebisdagvarad davxmarebodi bevr adamians. daviwye videoebis Cawera, sadac xalxs vuziarebdi pirad travmebs. vsaubrobdi mentaluri janmrTelobis mniSvnelobaze da aucileblobaze. vuziarebdi Cems mdgomareobas da amiT vambobdi, rom mentaluri aSlilobis qona ar aris sircxvili. am Temaze saubari aris mniSvnelovani da saWiro, radgan erTmaneTis gamocdilebebis gaziarebiT Cven Zalian bevr adamians vexmarebiT, rom marto da gariyulad ar igrZnon Tavi.
– suicidis mcdelobac gqondaT. . .
– xSirad vsaubrobdi suicidze, rasac, ra Tqma unda, Tavidan mohyva kritikis udidesi talRa da mesmis kidec am adamianebis, radgan samwuxarod, dRes TiTqos, am sakiTxis romantizebas axdenen. am dros mniSvnelovani iyo, sazogadoebisTvis mimewodebina swori informacia da xazi gamesva ara uSualod mcdelobis faqtisTvis, aramed imisTvis, Tu rogor aRmovaCine sakuTar TavSi Zala da SevZeli sikvdilis survilis damarcxeba.
– ras etyodiT maT, visac msgavsi gamocdileba aqvs, Tqvens mdgomareobaSi yofila, an iqneba?
– Cems postebSi da videoebSi yovelTvis vusvam xazs, rom Tu adamiani ar grZnobs Tavs kargad da xvdeba, rom sxva adamianebisgan gansxvavdeba mentaluri mdgomareobiT, am SemTxvevaSi aucileblad unda mimarTos specialists, radgan Cveni ZalebiT rac unda vecadoT problemis aRmofxvras, bolomde mainc ver movaxerxebT. aseve, mniSvnelovania, mivceT sakuTar Tavs dro, rom Seeguos Cveni goneba im realobas, romlis winaSec aRmovaCndiT. ar davaZaloT sakuTar Tavs imis gakeTeba, rac zians gvayenebs, an ubralod ar gvinda da mivendoT Cvens specialists, romelic TiToeul etapze Cven gverdiT iqneba da gvaswavlis, Tu rogor unda gavagrZeloT cxovreba Cvens mentalur mdgomareobasTan erTad.
– is, rac yvelaze metad gabednierebT. . .
– TerapiebiT viswavle sakuTar TavTan urTierToba, sakuTari TavisTvis drois daTmoba da sakuTari survilebis pativiscema. swored am yvelaferma momaniWa udidesi bedniereba. dRes sakuTar TavTan megobroba maniWebs bednierebas da Tavisuflebas.
– amJamad ras saqmianobT?
– am bolo dros Cemi cxovreba gaxda rutinuli, rac xandaxan CemSi did stress iwvevs, magram samsaxuridan gamomdinare, uamrav adamianTan maqvs Sexeba. vcvli emociebs, komunikacias vamyareb maTTan da maT ganwyobaze vzrunav. zogadad, baristas profesia aseTia. mec Cemi samyaro aRmovaCine da amiT vcdilob, Cemi mdgomareobis Semsubuqebas. myavs adamiani, romelsac vuziareb Cems yoveldRiurobas da romelic mexmareba, am rutinul cxovrebas cota xniT mainc gaveqce.
– uaxloesi gegma da mizani. . .
– dRes ukve myavs sayvareli adamiani, romelic CemTan erTad iziarebs Cems yoveldRiurobas. CemTan erTad Seiswavlis mariams da mis saWiroebebs da mexmareba gavumklavde yoveldRiur sirTuleebs. Cemi momavalic da gegmebic swored am adamians ukavSirdeba. minda, masTan erTad gavxde ukeTesi sakuTari TavisTvis da misTvis. vfiqrob, sakuTar TavTan urTierTobam da sakuTari Tavis mimarT siyvarulma Cemi warsulic, awmyoc da momavalic sruliad sxva TvaliT damanaxa, bevrad naTeli da laRi ferebiT.