როგორ უნდა დაეხმაროს მშობელი ბავშვს რთული ქცევის მართვაში?
მარიამ ხითარიშვილი 27 48 93 –
TiTqmis yvela mSobels eqmneba garkveuli sirTuleebi Svilebis problemuri qcevis marTvisas. zogierTi aRniSnavs, rom bavSvebi xdebian zedmetad Wirveulebi, cdiloben TviTdamkvidrebas sxvadasxva arasasurveli qceviT da imis gakeTebas, rac ekrZalebodaT. am dros ufrosebis mxridan bavSvebis dasjis, an maTi sxva gziT gakontrolebis mcdelobam SeiZleba kidev ufro gaamwvavos arasasurveli qceva, amitom aucilebelia problemuri qcevis Sefaseba, kargad gaanalizeba da Sesabamisi zomebis miReba
aRniSnul sakiTxebze qcevis saerTaSoriso analitikosi, bavSvTa ganviTarebis centr `mozaikis~ damfuZnebeli da direqtori nino doliZe gvesaubreba.
– rogorc viciT, bavSvebSi problemur qcevas sxvadasxva maxasiaTebliT afaseben.
– gvaqvs qcevis raodenobrivi maxasiaTeblebi, rogoricaa: qcevis sixSire, xangrZlivoba, reaqciaTaSorisi dro… qcevis SefasebisTvis aucilebelia gvqondes pasuxebi Semdeg kiTxvebze: rodis daiwyo problemuri qceva? ramdeni xania, rac is vlindeba? dReSi ramdenjer vlindeba? rogori xangrZlivobiT vlindeba TiToeuli epizodi? ramdenad didia misi siZliere (amplituda)? ra uswrebs mas win? ra Sedegi mosdevs? ra gavlenas axdens garSemomyofebze? raSi uSlis es qceva xels Tavad bavSvs? problemurad miiCneva iseTi qceva, romelic ar aris socialurad misaRebi. es SeiZleba iyos yvirili, gaqceva, nivTebis dayra da sxva. is gansxvavdeba simZimis mixedviTac. sanam qcevis parametrebis gazomvaze gadavidodeT, pirvel rigSi, xdeba qcevis aRwera – rogor vlindeba is, rogoria misi forma da mxolod amis Semdeg vakvirdebiT da viwerT mis maxasiaTeblebs (sixSire, xangrZlivoba, amplituda). pirveladi monacemebis Sedareba Carevis stretegiebis ganxorcielebis Semdgom monacemebTan gvexmareba, gavigoT, ramdenad efeqturi iyo intervenciis es gza da realurad moxda Tu ara qcevis maxasiaTeblebis Semcireba.
– ra asakidan SeiZleba gamovlindes bavSvis rTuli qceva?
– erT-erTi pirveli sakomunikacio reaqcia, rac Cvilobisas Cndeba, aris tirili. swored misi meSveobiT bavSvi gvaZlevs signals SimSilis, Zilis survilis an organizmSi arsebuli sxvadasxva diskomfortis Sesaxeb. asakis matebasTan erTad matulobs socialur-komunikaciuri unarebi – bavSvebi ukve JestebiT an metyvelebis meSveobiT gvamcnoben TavianT saWiroebebs. im SemTxvevaSi, Tu mocemuli sferos unarebis ganviTareba Seferxebulia, bavSvebi kvlav ganagrZoben tirils sasurvelis misaRebad. aqedan gamomdinare, rTulia imis Tqma, Tu ra asakidan SeiZleba gamovlindes problemuri qceva. es individualuria da damokidebulia rogorc ganviTarebis maxasiaTeblebze, aseve, garemoze, romelSic sxvadasxvanairad pasuxoben bavSvis ama Tu im qcevas. aRsaniSnavia isic, rom rTuli qceva nebismier asakSi SeiZleba gamovlindes, an sxvadasxva etapze sxvadasxva problemurma qcevam iCinos Tavi. im SemTxvevaSi, Tu arasasurveli qceva dakavSirebulia komunikaciuri unarebis simwiresTan, maSin Cvens mTavar mizans funqciuri komunikaciuri unarebis daswavla-gamdidreba warmoadgens, raTa man, rTuli qcevis gareSe, ufro advilad da socialurad misaRebi formiT SeZlos sasurvelis miReba an arasasurvelisagan Tavis daRweva.
– Tqveni dakvirvebiT, dRes ra aris yvelaze metad problematuri?
– bunebriv garemoSi (maRaziaSi, quCaSi) xSirad SexvdebiT bavSvebs, romlebic tirian, yvirian, fexebs abakuneben an, sulac, miwaze wvebian sasurvelis misaRebad. SeiZleba iTqvas, tantrumi (emociebis `amoxeTqva~) erT-erTi yvelaze gavrcelebuli rTuli qcevaa, romelic gansxvavdeba Tavisi siZlieriT (amplitudiT) da formiTac (topografiiT), msubuqi yviriliT dawyebuli da dasrulebuli nivTebis sroliT, sxvaTa an TviTdamazianebeli qceviT. aqve minda aRvniSno gansxvaveba `tantrumsa~ da `melTdauns~ (mowyvladi fsiqika) Soris. vinaidan es qcevebi erTnairad gamoiyureba, rTulia maTi erTmaneTisgan garCeva, Tumca maTi gamomwvevi mizezi sxvadasxvaa da, Sesabamisad, sxvadasxvanairad unda moxdes maTze reagireba. tantrumis meSveobiT bavSvi cdilobs miznis miRwevas, iqneba es raimes yidva, vinmesgan yuradRebis miReba Tu davalebisgan Tavis daRweva. aqedan gamomdinare, Tu Cven gvsurs tantrumis gamovlenis albaTobis Semcireba momavalSi, man am qceviT ver unda moaxerxos sasurvelis miRweva, Tumca aucileblad unda miiRos sasurveli, roca mas alternatiuli socialurad misaRebi formiT moiTxovs, magaliTad: mSvidad, sityvebiT an JestebiT. rac Seexeba melTdauns, is ar moiazrebs raime miznis miRwevas. es aris reaqcia gadatvirTulobis SegrZnebisas. rogorc wesi, misi kontroli adamianebs ar SeuZliaT, maSin, roca tantrumis SemTxvevaSi bavSvi Tvals gamogaparebT xolme, raTa gadaamowmos, xarT Tu ara iq, uyurebT Tu ara mas. melTdauns SeiZleba sxvadasxva trigeri (gamomwvevi) hqondes, rac sruliad damokidebulia pirovnebis individualur maxasiaTebelze. es SeiZleba iyos SiSi, tkivili, reaqcia sxvadasxva sensorul gamRizianebelze (xmaurze, sxvadasxva faqturaze, mZafr sunze. . .). SeiZleba iTqvas, rom misi erT-erTi maprovocirebeli faqtori swored sensoruli sferos gadatvirTvaa, erTdroulad bevri informacia sxvadasxva mgrZnobelobis organodan. melTdauni sruldeba oridan erT-erTi gziT: 1) rodesac iklebs sensoruli gamRizianeblis moculoba garemoSi, 2) bavSvi iRleba da SeiZleba CaeZinos kidec. ras vakeTebT am SemTxvevaSi? mniSvnelovania, rom melTdauni ar ganvixiloT rogorc problemuri qceva. pirvel rigSi, garSemomyofebi unda vecadoT, SevinarCunoT simSvide, gavaTavisufloT garemo safrTxis Semcveli nivTebisgan da mivceT dro dasamSvideblad, SegviZlia gamoviyenoT damSvidebis sxvadasxva gza. am SemTxvevaSi mniSvnelovania mivceT damxmare instruqcia dasamSvideblad, magaliTad: `daiTvale aTamde da damSviddebi~, `Rrmad CaisunTqe da damSviddebi~, `dafiqrdi, ra ginda da damSviddebi~. . . damSvidebis teqnikis swavlis saWiroebisas, sasurvelia, mimarToT bavSvTa fsiqologs. orive SemTxvevis (tantrumisa da melTdaunis) Tavidan aridebis mizniT an maT Sesamcireblad aucilebelia, bavSvebs manamde vaswavloT sxvadasxva emociis cnoba naxatze, sxva adamianze, sakuTari emociis diferencireba da maTi gamoxatva sasurveli gziT, Tundac vokalurad, magaliTad: `me axla gabrazebuli var, saTamaSo rom wamarTves~, `me gaRizianebuli var xmauris gamo~. . .
– ra SeiZleba iyos problemuri qcevis gamomwvevi mizezi?
– zogadad, yvela qcevas 4 ZiriTadi funqcia aqvs: 1. sasurvelis miReba (telefoni, tkbileuli, saTamaSo. . .); 2. yuradRebis miReba; 3. raimesgan Tavis arideba; 4. siamovnebis miReba (sensoruli ganmtkiceba). zogjer qcevas SeiZleba mravlobiTi funqcia hqondes da zemoT CamoTvlilTagan ramdenimes moiazrebdes. imisTvis, rom daigegmos rTul qcevasTan gamklavebis swori strategia, aucilebelia konkretuli qcevis funqciis codna, rasac Cvens sferoSi 3 sxvadasxva gziT vigebT: 1. arapirdapiri dakvirveba, raSic igulisxmeba mSoblebis an klientis sxva warmomadgenlis interviuireba, gamokiTxva; 2. pirdapiri, rodesac bunebriv garemoSi uSualod vakvirdebiT bavSvis qcevas, viwerT mis raodenobriv maxasiaTeblebs (sixSire, xangrZlivoba. . .), aseve didi mniSvneloba aqvs blankis Sevsebas, sadac viwerT informacias imis Sesaxeb, Tu ra uswrebs uSualod win qcevas da ra Sedegi mosdevs mas; 3. saWiroebis SemTxvevaSi, rodesac sxva gziT ver moxerxda qcevis zusti funqciis gansazRvra, tardeba qcevis eqsperimentuli analizi, risi Catarebis uflebac mxolod am mimarTulebiT kompetentur qcevis analitikosebs aqvT. zogi bavSvisTvis SeiZleba rTuli saTqmeli iyos – `gTxov, Sokoladi momeci~ da wamoiyviros, roca Sokoladi unda. Tu am dros miawodeben mas sasurvels, is xvdeba, rom misTvis gacilebiT martivia ubralod wamoiyviros da Sokoladsac maSinve miiRebs. ras vakeTebT am dros? roca bavSvi raimes arasasurveli gziT iTxovs, mas ar vawodebT sasurvels (Sokolads), SegviZlia vTxovoT, mSvidad Tqvas `Sokoladi~ an, Tu am sityvis Tqma ar aris mis qceviT repertuarSi, ubralod, TiTiT gvaCvenos, ra unda da mxolod amis Semdeg mivawodoT is. yovelTvis unda gvaxsovdes, rodesac, erTi mxriv, vaqrobT problemur qcevas misi funqciidan gamomdinare (ar vawvdiT sasurvels, an vaignorebT, an ar vaZlevT davalebidan gaqcevis saSualebas, an ise vcvliT garemos, rom veRar miiRos siamovneba am qceviT), meore mxriv, aucileblad unda moxdes socialurad misaRebi qcevis ganmtkiceba da Tan SevaqoT imisTvis, rom mSvidad iTxovs sasurvels. es komponenti xSirad aviwydebaT mSoblebs, mSvid naTqvamze ar aqceven xolme bavSvs yuradRebas da maSin iwyeben `dafacurebas~, roca bavSvi yvirils iwyebs. swored es iwvevs momavalSi rTuli qcevis maxasiaTeblebis gazrdas. alternatiuli sasurveli qcevis waxaliseba erT-erTi amosavali wertilia, rac rTuli qcevis SemcirebaSi dagvexmareba. aqve minda davafiqsiro erTi tendencia – mSoblebi, romelTa Svilebic problemur qcevas avlenen, amboben, rom qcevas aignoreben, radgan es fsiqologebisgan moismines, Tumca qcevis sixSire mainc ar mcirdeba, piriqiT – izrdeba kidec. ignorireba `panacea~ ar aris. mas mxolod maSin viyenebT, roca mocemuli qcevis mizani yuradRebis miRebaa. rodesac bavSvi nivTebs yris im mizniT, rom davaleba ar daweros da Cven mas vaignorebT, sasurvel Sedegs miiRebs da SemdgomSic, roca davalebis dawera ar moundeba, igives gaakeTebs. ignorirebis arasworad ganxorcieleba ki piriqiT, qcevis momavali albaTobis zrdis sawindaria, am teqnikis arasworad ganxorcileba ukuSedegs mogvitans.
– rogor ganvasxvaoT problemuri qceva asakisTvis damaxasiaTebeli qcevisgan?
– asakobrivi krizisis 4 saxeoba gvxvdeba: 1) 1 wlis krizisi – is ukavSirdeba siarulis dawyebas da sagnebis pirSi Cadebas. am dros aucilebelia usafrTxo garemos Seqmna, garemos gajereba iseTi nivTebiT, romelTa pirSi Cadebac ar warmoadgens gadaylapvis an janmrTelobisTvis raime safrTxes. am dros aqcenti keTdeba motoruli unarebis ganviTarebaze da ar SegeSindeT, Tu paralelurad ar xerxdeba metyvelebis swrafi ganviTareba. 2) 3 wlis krizisi – mas `me TviTon~ krizissac eZaxian. am dros bavSvs surs, yvelaferi damoukideblad gaakeTos. kargi iqneba, Tu mocemul etapze arCevanis Tavisuflebas mivcemT. magaliTad, SeTavazebuli sezonuri ori Sarvlidan arCevans gavakeTebinebT, saSualebas mivcemT, damoukideblad Caicvas, gaixados da ase Semdeg. ra Tqma unda, mSoblebs gvirCevnia, Cven gavakeToT yvelaferi Svilis nacvlad ufro swrafad da xarisxianad, Tumca jobia, gamovyoT dro da davelodoT mis damoukidebel mcdelobebs, radgan es araCveulebrivi periodia funqciuri, adapturi unarebis dasaswavlad. 3) 7 wlis krizisi – es is periodia, roca bavSvi skolaSi Sedis. 7 wlamde asakis bavSvisTvis Tu wamyvani qceva TamaSi iyo, axla is axal etapze gadadis da misTvis sabaziso qceva xdeba swavla, akademiuri unarebis daufleba. Tu bavSvs mecadineobis procesi kargad ar gamosdis, amis gamo ar vusayveduroT, piriqiT, aRmovuCinoT daxmareba ara mxolod swavlis, aramed socializaciis procesSic. dRis bolos vkiTxoT, rogori dRe hqonda, dasvenebebze ra iTamaSa da sxva. 4) 13-15 wlis krizisi – is emTxveva bavSvis gardatexis asakSi gadasvlas. mas Tan erTvis organizmSi mimdinare cvlilebebi, seqsualuri momwifeba. mozardi Tavs ukve didad aRiqvams. avtoriteti mSoblebidan megobrebze inacvlebs. am dros mniSvnelovania mSoblebis ara direqtiuli damokidebuleba Svilebis mimarT, aramed maTTan, rogorc megobarTan, ise saubari, aRiareba, rom maTi Svili marTlac didia da misi gadawyvetilebebi da azri mniSvnelovania ojaxisTvis. SeiZleba iTqvas, asakobrivi krizisi dakavSirebulia bavSvis ganviTarebis etapebTan da TiToeul etapze mSoblis Sesabamisi mzaoba da mxardaWera am krizisebis martivad gadalaxvas ganapirobebs. Tu qceva, romelic garkveuli asakisTvis aris damaxasiaTebeli (magaliTad: tantrumi – 2-3 wlis asakSi), SemdgomSic xSiria, maSin es faqti ar datovoT uyuradRebod da mimarTeT specialists konsultaciisTvis.
– rogor unda daexmaros mSobeli bavSvs rTuli qcevis marTvaSi?
– ra Tqma unda, umjobesia, individualur SemTxvevebze qcevis gazomvis Semdeg SemuSavdes konkretuli intervenciis gzebi da gaices rekomendaciebi. Tumca, saerTo rCeva aris is, rom mSoblebma SeinarCunon simSvide, dafiqrdnen, rasTan aris dakavSirebuli es qceva, ra funqcia SeiZleba hqondes mas, Seaqon bavSvi maSin, rodesac kargad iqceva. Tu qceva TviT an sxvaTa damazianebelia, SeiZleba fizikurad dablokon is, Seqmnan usafrTxo garemo. saWiroebis SemTxvevaSi, mimarTon specialists, qceviT analitikoss, an qceviT teqnikoss, vinc daexmareba rTuli qcevis SemcirebaSi mtkicebulebebze dafuZnebuli qcevis gamoyenebiTi analizis gziT.
– dapireba, saCuqrebi, – ramdenad gamarTlebulia es meTodebi rTuli qcevis aRmosafxvrelad?
– Sedegebis strategiebidan yvelaze xSirad viyenebT ganmtkicebas. sasurveli qcevis gamovlenis SemTxvevaSi bavSvs vawvdiT sxvadasxva tipis ganmamtkicebels, rac efeqturad zrdis sasurvel qcevas da, amasTan, paralelurad, vmuSaobT arasasurveli qcevis Caqrobaze, rac did Sedegebs gvaZlevs. yoveldRiur cxovrebaSi adamianebs, romlebic ar arian am dargSi momuSaveebi, xSirad ganmamtkiceblis miwodeba da mosyidva erTmaneTSi erevaT. ganmamtkicebels bavSvi Rebulobs sasurveli qcevis gamovlinebisTanave, mosyidvis dros ki bavSvs winaswar aZleven raime tipis saCuqars da eubnebian, rom ase aRar moiqces. es ver mogvitans Sedegs, ufro metic, aseTi cneba qceviT gamoyenebiT analizSi ar arsebobs. aqedan daskvna: saCuqrebi gamarTlebulia maSin, rodesac sasurveli qcevis Semdeg aris miRebuli da ara misi gamovlenis dawyebamde. etapobrivad unda moxdes ganmamtkiceblis gamoxSirva, raTa bavSvma saCuqris molodinis gareSec SeZlos socialurad misaRebi qcevis gamovlena. rac Seexeba dapirebas, mas mxolod maSin eqneba azri, roca yovel jerze Sesruldeba.
– rCeva mSoblebs – ra unda gaviTvaliswinoT pirvel rigSi?
– gamomdinare iqidan, rom dRes bavSvis aRzrdasTan dakavSirebiT informacia xelmisawvdomia, mSoblebs didi fufuneba aqvT, moiZion sxvadasxva masala sando wyaroebidan, rac maT gauadvilebT problemebis gadaWris gzebis povnas. umjobesia Svilebs instruqcia pozitiur konteqstSi SevTavazoT, magaliTad: ar vuTxraT `gubeSi ar Caxte!~, vuTxraT: `gubes gverdi auare~. ar vuTxraT: `kedelze nu xatav!~, vuTxraT: `ai, furcelze daxate~. Tu cudad iqceva, ar uTxraT, rom is cudia, uTxariT rom qcevaa cudi. radgan iarliyis miwebebam, rom is `cudia~, `uzrdelia~, `jiutia~, SeiZleba gazardos am qcevis gamovlenis albaToba. bavSvs aucileblad unda mivawodoT ganmamtkicebeli, rodesac avlens sasurvel qcevas. zogjer dagvianebuli metyveleba warmoadgens rTuli qcevis mizezs – bavSvi ver axvedrebs garSemomyofebs, ra unda. am SemTxvevaSi sasurvelia, vimuSaoT metyvelebiT komunikaciur unarebze. rTuli qceva unda iyos mSoblisTvis signali imisa, rom bavSvs raime sWirdeba, an raime diskomforti aqvs da daiwyos qcevis mizezis Zieba. ganTavisufldiT sazogadoebrivi stigmebisgan da roca bavSvi sazogadoebrivi TavSeyris adgilebSi cudad iqceva, nu ifiqrebT imaze, ras ifiqreben sxvebi, moiqeciT ise, rogorc es Tqveni Svilis problemuri qcevis momavali albaTobis Sesamcireblad iqneba misaRebi. mSobeli unda iyos bavSvis usafrTxoebis garanti, unda SeinarCunos simSvide bavSvis qcevis miuxedavad, is unda iyos misi emociuri sayrdeni. emociurad inteleqtuali mSobeli aucileblad daexmareba Svils emociebis regulaciis SeswavlaSi. SeuqmeniT bavSvebs usafrTxo da mimRebeli garemo. pozitiuri mSobloba is sayrdeni Zalaa, romliTac mSobeli da Svili erTad gaumklavdebian axal gamowvevas. dabolos, Tu martod giWirT bavSvebis rTul qcevasTan gamklaveba, mimarTeT Sesabamis specialits.
