სად გადის ზღვარი შვილისადმი მშობლის მეგობრულ დამოკიდებულებასა და ავტორიტეტის დაკარგვას შორის?
manana takiZe 577 10 15 17 –
ratom Tamamdebian Svilebi mSoblebTan? am SekiTxvaze erTi konkretuli pasuxi ar aris. bevri zRvris darRvevis mizezad mSoblis mxridan zedmet loialurobas asaxelebs, SeiZleba ojaxis socialurma da ekonomikurma problemebmac iqonios gavlena, urTierTobaSi bzari Cndeba drois ukmarisobis SemTxvevaSic. bavSvi met yuradRebas iTxovs mSoblisgan, romelic umetes dros samsaxurSi atarebs, saxlSi misuls ki Svilis gasarTobad dro da energia aRar rCeba. bavSvi, xSirad, gajetebis amara rCeba, socialuri qseli ki gajerebulia am asakisTvis Seuferebeli, Zaladobis informaciebiT, rac realobaSi gadmoaqvs kidec. xSirad, mSobeli nebismieri saxis akrZalvas gamoricxavs, ris gamoc, bavSvi Tavis nebazea miSvebuli. faqtia, rom mSoblebs SvilebTan megobruli urTierTobebis damyarebis problema xSirad eqmnebaT da urTierTobisas disciplinisa da wesrigis dacvas rTulad axerxeben. specialistebis ganmartebiT, SvilTan megobruli urTierToba masTan nebismier sakiTxze gulaxdil saubars an mSoblisa da bavSvis absolutur Tanasworobas sulac ar gulisxmobs. mSoblebs SeuZliaT SvilTan axlo, megobruli urTierTobis damyarebac da avtoritetis SenarCunebac. aucilebeli ar aris, rom megobrebi yvelaferSi Tanasworebi iyvnen. mSoblisa da Svilis idealuri urTierToba siTbos, siyvaruls, ndobas da garkveul sazRvrebs efuZneba. SvilisTvis, pirvel rigSi, deda unda iyoT da Semdeg – megobari. TiToeuli bavSvi mSoblis mxridan individualur midgomas da damokidebulebas saWiroebs, Tumca megobrul-avtoritetuli modeli dasavlur kulturaSi yvelaze metad amarTlebs. sad aris zRvari am urTierTobaSi da raSi xedaven gamosavals – am da mkiTxvelisTvis saintereso sxva Temebze bsu-is iuridiuli da socialur mecnierebaTa fakultetis profesori, fsiqologiis klinikis xelmZRvaneli qeTevan beriZe gvesaubreba.
– mSoblebisa da Svilebis garTulebul urTierTobaze xSirad vsaubrobT bolo periodSi. bevri amas uflebebis dacvis mimarTulebiT mozardebis zedmet informirebulobas ukavSirebs. Tqven rogor fiqrobT?
– mSoblebisa da Svilebis garTulebuli urTierTobebi SegviZlia avxsnaT sxvadasxva faqtoriT, kerZod, mozardis biologiuri momwifebiT (pubertatiT), identobis formirebiTa da sociumSi integraciiT. mozardoba intensiuri, mravalferovani cvlilebebis etapia. cxovrebis am etapisTvis damaxasiaTebeli amocanebi gansakuTrebiT sensitiuria garemos mimarT. mozardobis asakis ori ZiriTadi amocanaa: 1. identobis Camoyalibeba, roca sakuTari „me“-s ZiebaSi mozardi gadaamowmebs manamde „daswavlil“ wesebs, Rirebulebebs, miznebs, mosinjavs sxvadasxva rols, raTa pasuxi gasces SekiTxvebs: vin var me? rogori var? ra SemiZlia da ar SemiZlia? riTi vgavar da ganvsxvavdebi danarCenebisgan? 2. mSoblebisgan separacia. mSoblebisgan gamoyofa da Tanatolebisken swrafva gardamavali asakis ZiriTadi socialuri markeria, romelic, erTi mxriv, aucilebelia imisTvis, rom mozardma SeZlos aqamde miRebuli gamocdilebis ufro farTo socialur wreSi gadatana da ganzogadeba, xolo, meore mxriv, dakavSirebulia sarisko qcevasTan, radgan mozards jer kidev ar aqvs kargad ganviTarebuli TviTkontrolisa da qcevis regulaciis unar-Cvevebi. miuxedavad imisa, rom asakTan erTad mozardebi ufro da ufro damoukideblebi xdebian, ojaxi kvlav asrulebs ZiriTadi sayrdenis rols, sadac mozards saWiroebis SemTxvevaSi SeuZlia „dabrundes da Zalebi moikribos“. am asakSi ojaxs da mSoblebs kvlav didi potenciali aqvs, gavlena moaxdinos mozardis qcevaze da zogadad, ganviTarebaze. mozardebi emociurad datvirTul informacias gadaamuSaveben limbur sistemaSi, romelic instinqturi, impulsuri reagirebis safuZvels qmnis. amitom arian mozardebi ufro emociurebi, impulsurebi da riskianebi. emociebi met xibls sZens cxovrebas, Tumca, imis gamo, rom mozardebis qceva ufro emociebiTaa „nakarnaxevi“ (gauazrebelia), isini xSirad impulsurebi da reaqtiulebi arian. socialuri CarTuloba, siaxlis Zieba da emociebis intensiuroba, erTi mxriv, mozardis ganviTarebis mniSvnelovani resursia, xolo, meore mxriv, zrdis sarisko qcevis ganxorcielebis albaTobas. aRniSnuli garemoeba mSobels/ojaxs balansirebuli zrunvis – kontrolisa da damoukideblobis micemis rTuli amocanis winaSe ayenebs. vfiqrob, informirebuloba zedmeti arasodes aris, vinaidan zemoaRwerili informacia Tu iqneba mozardisTvis da mSoblisTvis cnobili, naklebad problemuria urTierTobaSi.
– ratom aris kargi megobruli urTierToba?
– bavSvis gare samyarosTan urTierTobis pirveli gamocdileba aris mSobelTan urTierToba, romelic ayalibebs sxva adamianebTan urTierTobis qcevis gansazRvrul models da gadaecema Taobidan Taobas. amitom, sasurvelia, megobrobis modeli vaCvenoT Cvens Svilebs. megobruli damokidebulebiT SevinarCunebT kavSirs da mozardobis asakis krizisic ver daazianebs Cven Soris arsebul urTierTobebs. aseTi mSoblebis Svilebi gamoirCevian sakuTar TavSi darwmunebulobiT, kargi socialuri unarebiTa da maRali TviTkontroliT.
– sad aris zRvari am urTierTobaSi?
– mSoblis aRzrdis stils gansazRvravs ori faqtori: mSoblis mier gamovlenili kontroli da siTbo. kontroli gulisxmobs, ramdenad mkacrad moiTxovs mSobeli bavSvisagan dadgenili wesebis Sesrulebas an, sxvagvarad rom vTqvaT, ramdenad aniWebs bavSvs pasuxismgeblobas. mSoblebma unda gaacnobieron, rom kontroli amisTvis sWirdebaT da ara sakuTari Zalauflebis demonstrirebisTvis. zRvari mdgomareobs imaSi, rom ar unda gadavaWarboT siTbos ise, rom srulad Semcirdes kontroli.
– ra Sedegebi moaqvs megobrul urTierTobaSi zRvris darRvevas?
– zRvris darRveva SesaZlebelia gaxdes usiamovno Tavgadasavlis mizezi mozardisTvis. bevri mSobeli kargad acnobierebs Tavisi aRzrdis stilis naklovanebebs, magram Zalian xSirad maT ara aqvT elementaruli fsiqologiuri codna, gadawyviton TavianTi problemebi. yvela mSoblis cxovrebaSi dgeba momenti, roca bavSvebTan dakavSirebuli sirTuleebi dauZleveli eCveneba.
– xSirad, Svilebi saxeliT mimarTaven mSoblebs. xom ar irRveva amiT ufros-umcrosobis zRvari da mSoblis funqcia?
– umetesoba imas, Tu rogori unda iyos mSobeli, faqtobrivad, situaciurad swavlobs, vinaidan eyrdnoba sakuTar intuicias da bavSvobis gamocdilebas. Sesabamisad, mSobeli aZlevs uflebas, saxeliT mimarTos Svilma. Tu mudmivad Svili saxeliT mimarTavs mSoblebs, amiT srulad aufasurebs mSoblis pozicias. es, ra Tqma unda, mSoblis rolis dakninebas uwyobs xels da rTulia garCeva, vin aris maT Soris mSobeli. mSobeli gadadis Svilis rolSi, xolo Svili-mSoblis rolSi.
– piradad Tqven, gamosavals sad xedavT?
– gamosavali prevenciuli RonisZiebebis gatarebaSi, kerZod, es aris mSoblis momzadeba mSoblobisTvis, sainformacio kampaniebis, mozardebisTvis jgufuri Terapiuli Sexvedrebis Catareba.
– ramdenad xSirad mogmarTaven mSoblebi daxmarebisTvis?
– Zalian xSirad da gansakuTrebiT, mozardebis mSoblebi.
– socialuri qselis gavlenebzec gvesaubreT. . .
– yoveldRiuri cxovrebis gajereba masmediiT iwvevs qcevis gadmotanas, SesaZlebelia, msxverpli aRmoCndes mSobeli. mecnierebis mier Catarebuli eqsperimentidan Cans, rom is bavSvebi, romlebic TamaSoben Zaladobriv videoTamaSebs, zrdasrul asakSi met fizikur agresias avlenen mewyvilis mimarT. aseve, unda aRiniSnos, rom: urbanizacia, aqseleracia, Tanamedrove mozardebis avtonomiurobis gaZliereba, erotikul-seqsualuri xasiaTis informaciis Riaoba da xelmisawvdomoba xels uwyobs sqesobrivi cxovrebis dawyebis asakis gaaxalgazrdavebas da sqesobrivi moralis liberalizacias.
– gajetebze damokidebulebis zrda ukavSirdeba Tu ara imas, rom bavSvebi, mSoblebis mouclelobis gamo, ezoSi TiTqmis ar atareben dros, rac maT Semdgom urTierTobebzec aisaxeba?
– mSobloba mZime tvirTia. samwuxarod, faqtia, rom mSoblebi Zalian dakavebulebi arian da gamosavals pouloben ise, rogorc SeuZliaT. ezoSi TamaSi, TanatolebTan urTierToba mniSvnelovania adamianis formirebaSi.
– ras urCevdiT mSoblebs?
– rac SeiZleba, meti kontaqti hqondeT SvilebTan. movusminoT maT, davujeroT da vendoT. nu gavxdiT bavSvebs Cveni daukmayofilebeli moTxovnilebebis dakmayofilebis obieqtad. urTierTobaSi Tu krizisi dadga, es niSnavs, rom unda gavzardoT siyvarulis doza. krizisis SemTxvevaSi, TavianT mozard SvilebTan kontaqtis SenarCunebisTvis mSoblebs vurCevdi amerikeli fsiqologis jeims dobsis sam formulas:
1.`gyavdes gaSlil xelisgulze (daexmareT da agrZnobineT Tqveni mxardaWera, magram zedmetad nu mouWerT xels);
2. `iyavi gverdiT, magram nu Caerevi~ (endeT da mieciT bavSvs sakuTari cxovrebiseuli gamocdilebis miRebis saSualeba);
3. `Tu marTla giyvars, gauSvi. Tuki ar dagibrundeba, ese igi is Seni arc arasodes yofila~ (siyvaruli Tavisuflebis gareSe ar arsebobs).
