რა გავლენას ახდენს მშობლის ტრავმა ბავშვის პიროვნებად ჩამოყალიბებაზე?
darina gabaiZe 514 22 22 80
cxovrebaSi adamians araerTi fsiqologiuri travmis gadatana uwevs, romelic cvlis mis cxovrebas. marTalia, travmaze reagireba individualuria da damokidebulia araerT faqtorze, magram SesaZloa man waruSleli kvali datovos adamianis fsiqikaze da Tu ar moxdeba droulad Careva, mSoblidan Svilzec gadavides. Tu ra gavlenas axdens mSoblis travma bavSvis pirovnebad Camoyalibebaze – am da sxva saintereso Temaze bavSvTa da mSobelTa fsiqologi nino bajeliZe gvesaubreba.
– aisaxeba Tu ara bavSvobis travma Cvens cxovrebaze?
– ra Tqma unda, aisaxeba. xSirad bavSvobaSi gancdili movlenebi zrdasrulobisas seriozuli garTulebebis gamomwvevi xdeba. metwilad cxovrebiseuli gamowvevebi da zrdasrulobisas gadaulaxavi sakiTxebi: fobiebi, SiSebi, emociuri arastabiluroba, xSirad ganmeorebadi problemuri movlenebi bavSvobis travmuli gamocdilebis Sedegia.
– ra asakSi formirdeba bavSvobis fsiqotravmebi?
– ZiriTadad, 6 wlamde asakSi, formirdeba, radgan es is asakia, rodesac bavSvs jer ar aqvs ganviTarebuli kritikuli azrovneba, imas, rac esmis da rasac xedavs, yovelgvari kritikis da gansjis gareSe ijerebs da miaCnia erTaderT simarTled. SeiZleba fsiqotravma eqvsi wlis Semdegac miiRos mozardma, axlobel adamianTan ganSoreba? axloblis an sayvareli cxovelis gardacvaleba, omi, sxvadasxva saxis Zaladoba, mSoblebis ganSoreba da sxva fsiqologiuri tramvis gamomwvevia. aq mTavaria Cveni damokidebuleba konkretuli movlenis mimarT, rogor SevafasebT da mivawodebT mas bavSvs. magaliTad, mSoblebis daSorebis dros, roca ganawyenebuli erT-erTi mSobeli, bavSvebis TandaswrebiT gamoxatavs brazs an pirdapir eubneba rom ,,migvatova~, ,,exla sxva ojaxi hyavs~, ,,Cven ar vWirdebiT~, ,,is cudi adamiania~ ,,moRalatea~ ,,matyuaraa~ da a.S. ra Tqma unda, msgavsi qceva pataras Zalian did travmas ayenebs, Tavs arasaWirod da mitovebulad grZnobs, rac didobaSi dabal TviTSefasebaSi da piradi urTierTobebis sirTuleSi gamoixateba.
arada, SesaZlebelia am faqtis sworad miwodeba, sakuTari emociebis da Sefasebebis gareSe, magaliTad, imis Tqma, rom mSoblebi isev misi mSoblebi arian, rom is mniSvnelovani adamiania maT cxovrebaSi da mis adgils veravin daikavebs, mamas da dedas isev uyvars da Zveleburad gagrZeldeba maTi urTierToba.
– rogor amovicnoT bavSvobis travmebi?
– es aris araadekvaturi reagireba, konteqstis Seusabamo qcevebi, ararealuri aRqmebi, sakuTar Seqmnil samyaroSi cxovreba, socialuri urTierTobebis garTuleba ararseboba, emociuri arastabiluroba da sxva.
– aisaxeba Tu ara es yvelaferi adamianze zrdasrul asakSi?
– ra Tqma unda. es Cndeba TviTrealizebis problemebi, dabali TviTSefaseba, mitovebis SiSi, ,,me kargi var~, ,,me vimsaxureb arsebobas~, – amis mtkiceba sakuTari TavisTvis dazianebis xarjzec ki. aseT adamians ar moswons sakuTari Tavi iseTi, rogoric aris, cdilobs, sxvebTan urTierTobaSi iyos iseTi, rogorc partniors, megobars, ufross, TanamSromels Tu sxvas moewoneba da amiT gaamarTlos sakuTari arseboba. Tu bavSvobisas gangicdiaT Zaladoba, emociuri an fizikuri ugulebelyofa, travmis simptomebi zrdasrul asakSic geqnebaT. bavSvebi ganicdian gare samyaroSi momxdars da sakuTar TavSi samyaros `Sinagan rukas~ qmnian. zrdasTan erTad es `ruka~ icvleba da viTardeba. travmul pirobebSi bavSvebi asakis kvaldakval aRar qmnian axal `rukebs~ da samyaro mudmivad `bavSvuri~ interpretaciiT aRiqmeba, gansakuTrebiT iseT situacebSi, romelic asociaciurad ukavSirdeba travmul movlenas.
– aris Tu ara ufrosebSi travmaze emociuri reagirebis yvelaze gavrcelebuli tipebi?
– ki, es aris „cru pirovneba“. araerTi zrdasruli adamiani minaxavs, romlebsac Zalian Zlieri kompensatoruli meqanizmebi aqvT da travmulma gamocdilebam maTze, erTi SexedviT, gavlena ver moaxdina. isini profesiulad warmatebulebi arian, advilad amyareben socialur kavSirebs, aqvT ojaxi. TiTqos araferi akliaT, magram mainc sicarieles ganicdian. Zalian xSirad, aseT dros, saqme gvaqvs cru pirovnebasTan. vidre patarebi varT, gvinda, mSoblebs vuyvardeT da mogviaron. Tu Cveni mSoblebi ase ar iqcevian, vcdilobT, gavxdeT iseTi bavSvi, romelsac isini Seiyvareben, sxva sityvebiT rom vTqva, davimsaxuroT maTi siyvaruli. amave dros, vmalavT emociebs, romlebic mSoblebs ar moswonT. Sesabamisad, vqmniT cru pirovnebas, romelsac samyaros warvudgenT. TandaTan veCveviT Cvens namdvil emociebze uaris Tqmas da Sedegad vkargavT imis gancdas, vin varT sinamdvileSi. vizrdebiT da gamudmebiT gveSinia, rom Tu es niRabi Camogvivarda, aRar mogvivlian, aRar veyvarebiT an aRar migviReben. mTeli Cveni fsiqikuri energia am niRbis SenarCunebas xmardeba. aseTi adamiani mudmivad gaxleCilia or samyaros Soris. am samyaroTagan erTi realuria, romelsac mudmivad uaryofs, xolo meore – idealuri iluzia. sakuTari Tavis miReba iseTad, rogorebic varT ar aris advili, roca am yvelafers bavSvobis travmebi erTvis Tan, magram Tu ase ar moviqceviT da sanimuSo figuris rolis morgebas gavagrZelebT, sabolood imas miviRebT, rom sarkeSi Caxedvisas Cvens Tavs veRar vicnobT da mogveCveneba, rom Cvens nacvlad Cveni cxovrebiT sxva vinme cxovrobs.
meore saxeobaa „msxverplis pozicia“. is, Tu ras vfiqrobT sakuTari Tavis Sesaxeb, xSirad damokidebulia imaze, ramdenad gavaZlierebT an davasustebT sakuTar Tavs. rodesac Tavs mxolod uaryofiTad vafasebT, vaskvniT, rom Cveni cxovreba Cvens xelT ar aris, movlenebis msxverpli varT da meti araferi. ase vTqvaT, beds veguebiT. SesaZloa, bavSvobaSi Cvenze Zlieri ufrosebis msxverpli viyaviT, magram, zrdasrulebs gvaqvs Sansi, msxverpli aRar viyoT, axla ufro meti Zalauflebaa Cven xelT da metad SegviZlia sakuTari cxovrebis Secvla. msxverplis rolSi ki araerTi ramis gamo SeiZleba aRmoCndes bavSvi.
– ras gulisxmobT?
– magaliTad, Cagvra sazogadoebis mxridan (e.w bulingi), Zaladoba, rogorc fizikuri, aseve, fsiqologiuri. ganvixilav im SemTxvevas, rodesac Tavad mSobeli cdilobs msxverplis rolis morgebas. aseT SemTxvevaSi, mSobeli bavSvobidanve gaucnobierebelad msxverplis rolSia, aqvs dabali TviTSefaseba, Tvlis, rom ar imsaxurebs kargad yofnas. Tu drouli Careva ar moxda, adamiani yalibdeba iseT mSoblad, romelic ver gamodis msxverplis rolidan, bavSvs ki zedmeti pasuxismgeblobebi ekisreba. misTvis maSvelis rolis miniWeba an waxaliseba, aseve, anadgurebs jansaR sazRvrebs, romelic unda arsebobdes mSobelsa da Svils Soris. es SeiZleba problemad darCes srulwlovanebamde. zrdasrul adamians wlebi dasWirdeba imis gasagebad, Tu rogor aris msxverplis TamaSSi CarTuli, mSoblis qceva aqcevs bavSvs mWidrod gansazRvrul rolSi. aseT dros yuradReba ar eTmoba bavSvis survilebsa da saWiroebebs, misi moTxovnilebebis gamoxatvas SeiZleba mohyves winaaRmdegoba an dasjac ki. bavSvi swavlobs grZnobebisa da azrebis CaxSobas, es ki grZeldeba zrdasrul asakSi.
Semdegi saxeobaa „pasiuri agresiuloba“. rodesac bavSvebi iseT ojaxSi izrdebian, sadac brazis jansaRi gamoxatva akrZalulia. maT mTeli cxovreba sjeraT, rom es dauSvebeli emociaa. Tu bavSvobaSi agresias SeswrebixarT, SesaZloa gjerodeT, rom brazi yovelTvis Zaladobas gulisxmobs da Sesabamisad, unda Sekavdes. arada, brazi aucilebelia pirovnuli sazRvrebis dasasmelad, Tavis dasacavad, usiamovno adamianebisgan distancirebisaTvis da, rac mTavaria, arasasurveli garemos Sesacvlelad.
– ra xdeba, rodesac brazs ver gamovxatavT?
– araferi xdeba da araferi icvleba. kvlav ganvicdiT brazs (brazi sabasizo emociaa da yvelas bunebrivad gvaxasiaTebs), magram nacvlad imisa, rom gamovxatoT is da Sedegad gadavWraT problema, romelic gvabrazebs, ubralod, gabrazebulebi vrCebiT. vinaidan brazis Sekaveba SeuZlebelia, viwyebT mis iribad, pasiur-agresiulad gamoxatvas. mudam dagubebuli braziT davdivarT. mniSvnelovania, rom yvelam iswavlos brazis swori gziT gamoxatva da ar moxdes misi udanaSaulo adamianze gadatana.
– rogor moqmedebs bavSvobis travma aRzrdis stilze?
– travmirebuli mSoblebi mudmivad cdiloben Svilebis dacvas travmebisgan da zogjer am dacviT garkveul SezRudvebsac ki uweseben sakuTar Svilebs. zedmeti kontroli, bavSvobis travma aRzrdis stilSi SesaZloa gamovlindes im gziTac, rom mSoblebma daiwyon Svilebis gakontroleba cxovrebis sxvadasxva aspeqtSi. marTalia, am dros mSoblis mizani ZiriTadad Svilis dacvaa, magram metwilad, sapirispiro Sedegs viRebT da bavSvi akrZalvebis fonze meamboxed yalibdeba.
– dabolos, ras urCevT mSoblebs?
– nebismier SemTxvevaSi, pirveli nabiji aris problemis aRiareba. Tu aris problema, gamosavalic moiZebneba. anu, pirvel rigSi, unda gaacnobieroT is faqti, rom travma gaqvT gadatanili. ar dagegmoT warsuliT. xSirad, travmis kadrebs vatrialebT da aTasgvari gziT vcdilobT mis Secvlas. nu imoqmedebT principiT: `ra moxdeboda, ase rom momxdariyo,~ imoqmedeT principiT: `aq da axla ra gavakeTo.~ SewyviteT sakuTari Tavis dadanaSauleba, daumegobrdiT da gaaRviZeT sakuTari Sinagani bavSvi, romelic yvelas gvyavs. isaubreT Tqvens problemebze Riad da nu mogeridebaT mxardaWeris miReba sazogadoebisgan. xSirad esaubreT Svilebs yoveldRiur Temebze da ara mxolod rCeva-darigebis mizniT. dro dauTmeT sakuTar Tavs da dReSi minimum naxevari saaTiT dakavdiT TqvenTvis sayvareli aqtivobiT.
